We may be stupid...but we're not this stupid!

I received this email instead of my boss because the email address was not correct.

Hi Fearless Leader,

This is Dumb Ass Ex-Employee* well guess things are bad everywhere heard they are at Fluffy Loves the Sauce too,
ive got myself a cad program at home and if you need any drafting done please let me know, i could also come down and work in feild or whatever. Hope the best for all you guys.....
Thanks for everything youve done for me Fearless Leader....
Tell everyone hi.

This employee left his employment with us by simply clocking out and going home. At 9am. We didn't even realize he was gone until noon. It has never been confirmed, but it was strongly suspected that he was involved with or had previous knowledge of the actions of another ex-employee who used the computers of female employees for kiddie porn. Yeah, come on back - it worked out so well the first time! Fortunately for us, we're currently at our maximum level of felons allowed. I don't think I even need to mention the grammar at this point.

*Some names may be changed to protect the stupid